United Spouses

Dear Lone Ranger, Being in the same page in parenting is critical for a child’s security and sense of felt safety.  If you and your spouse are on different pages, engage a third party to assist you in working through the differences.  Watch connected parenting videos together, or meet with other adoptive parents who implement […]

School Days

Dear School Days, School can be a very overwhelming environment – there is a lot of stimulation, a lot of fear triggers, and stressors from navigating the social / emotional delays to fit in with peers. It is important to validate the stressors and practice good school behaviors at home; it is also important to […]

Teen Attachment

Dear Ready and Able, Be aware of your teen’s social and emotional age and align your expectations accordingly. Focus on 3 family rules that are principle based.  My first is always, “Everybody gets to be safe”. Then, “Show respect,” “Listen the first time,” “Dad and Mom are the Boss,” and “Do your part,” are common […]

A Productive Member of Society

Dear Getting Scared, Fear can be a crippling emotion that impedes our ability to connect with our children. Fear manifests itself in being critical, over-bearing, and negative. Getting children ready to be productive members of society is about relationship. Connect with your child. Know your child. Encourage your child. Advocate for your child. Unconditionally love […]

Becoming Independent

Dear A Bit Confused This may actually be a wonderful thing!   Because many of our trauma-impacted children are emotionally and socially delayed, she may have been at a stage of development where being with parents is desirable – it’s cool. Now that she has been in your home and established a sense of felt safety, […]

Acting Out in Public

Dear Captain Anger, If I have learned anything from parenting children from hard places, I have learned this: It is not personal, stranger’s opinions don’t matter, and my child’s behavior doesn’t necessarily reflect anything about my parenting. Acting out in public is usually triggered by over-stimulation, the perception of an unmet need (“No, you can’t […]